she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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