did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
