They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
