Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
