He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
