ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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