i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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