just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
