I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
