Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i think my cat just said my name.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
