I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize