My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The Olympian is in my bed
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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