Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Found the puke drawer
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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