Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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