We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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