how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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