And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
