Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
