what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
