Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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