Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
