Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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