hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
