It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Drunk is not a location!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize