guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
