She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
