great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
