And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
