she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
