i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
