Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
