**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
