yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize