belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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