And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
