Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
