i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Randomize
