i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
