i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
