It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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