i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
