how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
