he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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