Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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