And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
