and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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