I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so explain again why im purple
no
my vag is so smooth its legendary
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
