You're so nebulous sometimes
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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