Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
