problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
