I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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