susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
