I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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