Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
