Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
