We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
