So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
