Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
