You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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