so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
