Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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