I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
