I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
