is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Me too!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
