I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize