goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
