I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Randomize
